That's not Draco Malfoy?
by Unicorns Breathe Fire
Summary: Draco's a famous rapper in the muggle world, but he has to wear a glamour, so no one knows it's really him. He likes Hermione, but doesn't realise it. She also likes him, but doesn't realise it yet. But there is a slight problem, she really, really hates the rapper. Eminem and Dramione.
**Ok. Hi. So I was just kinda sitting on my bed being bored and then suddenly I was like omg! Eminem. Just because I'm obsessed and I randomly think of him when I'm bored. And then I was like omg! Draco Malfoy. Because I love him as well. And then I was like omg! Draco Malfoy and Eminem! In a fanfic! Together! Yay! So, um, yeah, that's what this is. Read it! Have fun! And review!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Eminem. Or his songs.**

Chapter 1

Hermione shifted in her seat. The humid air was sticking to her, plastering strands of already sweaty hair to her forehead. She knew that she would regret coming here with Ginny, even though she was the one paying, not Gin, so it wasn't like she'd been dragged along. Well, technically she had but, never mind that.

She supposed that Ginny did deserve a treat after her slightly painful breakup with Harry. So Hermione had promised her whatever she wanted for her birthday, as long as it was under four hundred pounds in muggle money. (Hermione had quite a lot of money, in case you couldn't tell) And Ginny had asked for the last thing she would ever have expected.

Two tickets to an Eminem – Slim Shady – concert. Obviously Hermione had complied with the wish, and only after she had purchased the tickets did she stop to think about why she needed two tickets and who else would be going. Ginny surprised her the next day, and not in a good way. She would be the lucky one going to watch a rap concert that would most likely be full of screaming teenage girls. Oh joy.

Which was why she was sitting here now, on the sweaty plastic seat listening to Ginny hollering the chorus to 'Without Me' over and over with some other girl next to them. And she couldn't even escape. They had pitched a tent in a campsite nearby, as it was overnight, as they wanted the full muggle experience. So far, it had been hideous.

The rapper kept making childish comments, and insulting other rappers between his songs, and Ginny had made a new friend. Just another reason for not coming. Not that Hermione got jealous or anything, but she now had no one to talk to, not that she could have really talked to Ginny without standing up and screaming the words in her ear.

The only good thing Hermione could see about him was the way he looked. Not the way he dressed, but face-wise he was pretty amazing. Very short blonde hair, that reminded her of Malfoy in first year, and he had amazing bone structure. She had spent the whole concert analysing him so far, as the music, if you could call it that, was not even worthwhile listening to.

Ginny suddenly bent down to her and shouted in her ear.

"Join in," Hermione winced, and drew back at how loud Ginny was being. She pulled a kind of fake sorry-not-sorry rueful smile, and replied.

"I don't know the words," Ginny looked at her in despair. She muttered something about trying to join in because it was Ginny's present and all that. Hermione growled in annoyance and stood up. "Fine" she sighed.

Ginny jumped up and down with joy, squealing like a child. Hermione jumped up and down, mumbling the words along with the other girls. She stumbled through the lyrics, having listened to at least thirty of the songs in preparation for coming here. They finally made it through to 'The Real Slim Shady', and even Hermione knew that one. When they reached the chorus, she was screaming along with the rest of the girls, even if it was only because of the atmosphere, not the artist himself.

Hermione's throat went raw from the sheer amount of noise she was having to make. This place was hell. She had no idea how people could actually go to these things for fun. And , later it was going to get even better (worse) because a couple of men from D12 where coming to join him, as well as Royce da 5'9, from Bad vs. Evil. She had done her research before coming here, so as not to offend any fans with her lack of knowledge. Even if she hadn't been going herself, she would have checked the concert's history out to make sure that Ginny wasn't going to be raped by some mad old bloke.

She had actually thought that the beginning of 'The Real Slim Shady' was going quite well, with him talking about how people were getting pissed at him for acting black, and how they didn't like his music, or his attitude. And then there was that line. 'But he's so cute though'. This was him talking about himself. Is it even possible to love yourself so much that you would say something like that? Especially in front of such a large audience. But they all evidently thought he was the bees-knees. All except Hermione.

The performance was shit, the music was shit, the attitude of all the people here was shit. It was a complete waste of time even coming. The only good song so far seemed to be 'Beautiful', because it was more like a song than it was a rap.

She still couldn't get over the fact that she'd paid £200 for her and Ginny to come here and get their eardrums blown apart. It was ridiculous. Hermione debated whether it was better to just join in wholeheartedly or just slump back to the little tent all alone. Although the tent option was preferable, she didn't think Ginny would allow it. So she just sat back in her seat and listened to the 'music', trying to find something good in it.

But it was hopeless. The music was awful, and she couldn't keep listening to it. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she selected 'Ferretface' and decided to text him as many times as she could until the concert had finished, just to piss him off. She did still hate him from the war, and he hated her, but they were civil to each other, since Draco was officially on the good side. She didn't even know why she had him as a contact really, but as soon as she'd found out that he actually owned a muggle phone, she couldn't help it. Now,whenever she was bored, she would just text him multiple times until he either started a conversation with her or told her to shut the fuck up and leave him alone. That's why it was so fun. The reply varied each time. She rubbed her hands together gleefully. Time to make this concert a bit more interesting.

' Hey Ferret'

' I'm bored'

' And you know what that means'

' I'm just gonna keep texting you until you reply'

' Ha to you'

' Ok'

'So'

'I'm really uncomfortable'

'I'm at a concert'

' And they have these really annoying plastic seats that are horrible to sit in'

' And I know you don't care, but I'll tell you anyway'

' I'm going to tell you what concert I'm at'

' it's a muggle one'

' When you reply tell me if you've heard of him or not'

' It's…'

'Wait for it…'

'Eminem!'

'The second e should be backwards but my phone can't do that so…'

'Hmph'

'Say something'

' Say something'

' Say something'

'MALFOY!'

'Reply!'

' I will punch you again if you don't reply'

' Come on'

'Fine'

'I give up'

'Bye'

She sighed with frustration. He would normally have replied by now. Looking up, she noticed that the stage was empty, and the music had gone. Ginny was conversing with her new friend about how 'brilliant' the songs were.

Hermione checked her phone for a reply before nudging Ginny. She turned around, looking thrilled and excited. " Thank you so much for the tickets 'Mione, this is amazing, isn't it?" Hermione paused.

" Well, it's very interesting. And, um, where's he gone?" Ginny rolled her eyes.

" 'Mione, haven't you been paying any attention at all? He's gone for a break" she huffed slightly before turning to her new friend. Hermione checked her phone again. She had one new message! She quickly checked who it was from. Oh. Her mum. Asking how the concert was going. 'Great xx' she replied, whilst thinking the opposite. Suddenly a new notification popped up. 'You have one new message from Ferretface' He'd finally replied! She opened their conversation and looked at the newest text.

'Yes I've heard of him. now fuck off, I'm busy'

 **And that is chapter one. There we go. All done. I'm hoping to update this maybe twice a week, as this is my favourite story so far, so yay! Um. Please review for love and cookies, even though I can't send them through a screen. Love everyone in the whole world.**

 **Unicorns xxx**


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